HATE
--Liars (including myself)
--backstabbers
--people who ENJOY other people's misery
--the devil
LOVE
...planetshakers
...hillsong
...delirious
...sonic edge band
...jamison parker
...Hinder
...Hawthorne Heights
...other various artists whose songs are awesome
...Jesus
...softball
...photography
...GUITAR!
...drums
...various sports (e.g. soccer, etc.)
...hip Hop (dance)
WANTS
--Madina Lake ALBUMS!!!
--Paramore albums
--Jonas Brothers albums
--saw 3 vcd/dvd
--queen Of The Damned soundtrack
--blade 2 vcd/dvd
--blade Trinity vcd/dvd
--xbox 360 (HAH! I wish.) [And Halo 3 along with it. Plus Doom 3!!!]
--DRUMS SET
--AMPLIFIER~!
--ELECTRIC GUITAR!
--death note2, the ring 1 and 2 vcds/dvds.
--nikon D70s/D200 Digital Camera (please? XD)
--blood (Anybody wanna donate?)
--to let myself fry in hell
EXTRAS____________________
Will you be eating that cake?...say what you want, but I will be taking the cake
Here you stand in the entrance of my domain.
Before you lies a sea of darkness, seduction, betrayal...
Questions that will never be answered, illusions that will force you to abandon your senses...
Thrills beyond your wildest imagination.
Do you choose to retreat, to remain just outside the door,
allowing your breath to catch as your imagination takes you to places you are uncertain of?
Do you choose to enter, and confront this fear you hold towards me...
What could possibly happen, you ask yourself
With you the world fades.
The voices dissolve,
movements, slow,
though sensations heighten.
I bare my soul to you,
freely, to show the pain,
the chaos and the depth
of who I am.
Of who I feel to be.
I open my mind
to speak what engulfs my
thoughts as well as desires.
I can close my eyes
and though I am before
one who is known
for illusions,
I do not shudder
nor do I cower.
It is you, after all,
that would grasp
exactly what I desire
and not choose
to run or waver.
Not many share
my thoughts.
Would you ask me
of these things I speak?
Would you even dare?
--Life's a bitch, and then you die.
Lower the lights, look and watch and see,
he comes out, dressed so elegantly,
the Gentleman Death, looks so tempting,
yeah, he'll sweep you off your feet.
Illusions, caused with a stare,
screams filled the air.
He comes with death behind him,
but he'll tempt you with passion.
Hell comes with lust that is so true,
he comes straight towards you.
Feel the hair rise on your neck,
fangs drive into you, with no regret.
So as he feels the blood flow,
you hear the requiem of Santiago. (:
okay, first things first: i won't be posting here any more... might delete it someday... but any journal posts/updates i make will be on my deviantArt journal, feel free to visit my page : http://www.vampiro-guitarist.deviantart.com/ (link is also under my links here)
okay, next: YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS GUY. he's friggin awesome. he's a choreographer/dancer, 15 years old, i think.
see his other vids too. there's one of when he was 13 years old. and he WAS AWESOME (for that age) lawl.
to the people who would like to see any pictures of the cross country i have taken, i'll post it up on my DEVart page soon. if there are photos you want that aren't posted up, email me, k? ^^
i can walk the whole damn way and STILL get a stupid collarpin. wth. ><
man, i dont know what to say. just... i'm sorry. i really am. i'm sorry...
------- Will you listen to my story? It’ll just be a minute, How can I explain? Whatever happened, dear, I never meant to hurt you, How could I cause you so much pain?
When I say I’m sorry, Will you believe me? Listen to my story, Say you won’t leave me. When I say I’m sorry, Can you forgive me? When I say I will always be there, Will you believe, will you believe in me?
All the words that I come up with, They’re like gasoline on flames. There’s no excuse, no explanation Believe me if I could undo what I did wrong I’d give away all that I own.
If I told you I’ve been cleanin’ my soul, And If I promised you I’ll regain control, Will you open your door, And let me in take me for who I am, And not for who I’ve been, who I’ve been? (Who I've been)
When I say I’m sorry, Will you believe me? Listen to my story, Say you won’t leave me. When I say I’m sorry, Can your forgive me? When I say I will always be there, Will you believe me? When I say I’m sorry When I say I’m sorry When I say I’m sorry When I say I’m sorry When I say I’m sorry
Can you forgive me? When I say I will always be there, Will you believe?
not much to update i guess... i'm addicted to Hinder recently... i wanna buy their cd.i like "here's to the night" by Eve 6... and "here i stand" by Madina Lake.
been really busy, with training, lessons, student leadership stuff, etc. i guess i'm just trying to keep my mind busy so that i dont have much time to be depressed and even consider suicide.
i went to visit my DARLING cheryl at her school last week. didn't do much. next time i'll take you out on a proper date, okay hun? when i have money! xD
go see the songs i've recently put up on my dA account. http://vampiro-guitarist.deviantart.com/ i dont really like them. but lotsa people like them... i probably dont like them because they all remind me of her. sigh. ah well.
bettina, signing out.
--------------------- So denied, so I lied are you the now or never kind In a day, and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry Here's to goodbye Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line along with place and time Wanna stay, not to go I wanna ditch the logical Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
All my time is froze in motion Can't I stay an hour or two or more Don't let me let you go Don't let me let you go Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well ------ My hands shake cuz today, I know you're gonna break my heart and, My life without you in it Is a life, it's not worth living. I'll be strong but i wish i was someone else, Anyone but me tonight
Here i stand All alone Tonight, And i wish i was strong enough to breathe Without you In my life, I wish i was anyone but me.
So I'll start to pretend im ok But you should know by now that My life is smoke and mirrors, The one thing is crystal clear That i'm the one wishing i was someone else, Anyone but me tonight
Inside i start to fall apart. And i'll pretend im holding on So i guess ill bleed in silence. I guess i'll bleed in silence.
alot has happened since my last post... not gonna bother posting a full update. but gonna try and revive my blog...
exams are over... i've started hip hop classes with guo yi. (thanks maqrius!) playing pool alot... suddenly, i think i've lost interest in softball. (damn, i hate to prove lily ng right. sorry guys.)
i've actually been trying to see which is the best form of suicide... i've hit a personal rock bottom... i knew it was coming, yet i kept up the act... i blame nobody except myself... actually, i WANT you to blame me... it's my fault anyways... ----- how many wrongs make a right?
i chronicled the days you made me want to live i spend my nights either sleepless or dreaming about you
going on without you still upsets me. it's hard to deal with the pain of losing you.
i hope you're sleeping better knowing that i never sleep at all.
all i ever wanted comes right down to you. i see the edge but i can't take the fall. i don't wanna be like this. i just want you to know that everything i hold in is everything i can't let go.
i can't believe you were the one to build me up and tear me down.
it's only words and words are all i have to take your breath away.
today went bowling with the twins and lilin. played darts too. then the twins and i went to east coast to meet jazzy, weiyun and unice. we made them wait 2 hours for us... (SORRY, JUNIORS!! ><) went roller blading. then everyone went home. ^^
---- I found my place in the world Could stare at your face for the rest of my days
oh yeah, my parents said that they'll let me go back for service if i can do well for ALL my subjects OVERALL. that means i gotta pass my social studies!!! and i have to wait till rebort book coems out. that'll be in like... LATE OCTOBER OR SOMETHING! @_@ so far away!
--- I was born to tell you I love you
And I'm tired of being all alone
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
i just wanted you to know, i think about you every night when i fall asleep you are in my dreams
oh my god la. today, lilin and i were walking to my place, then we ran into guru at block 412. this old lady slipped and fell on the slippery wet floor. and hit her head.
she was like, bleeding alot. stained her shirt like mad. damn scary, we panicked then lilin called for an ambulance. damn scary, 71-year-old woman slips and falls, and starts bleeding on the back of her head like crazy. O____O
after that whole situation was olved, lilin and i ran to her house to grab her music enrichment course booklet. then ran for the bus to go back to school. then went for the music enrichment course.
then went to watch the juniors' match. they won 24-20 or something like that. siyin and i nearly died of a heart attack. kept screaming: "YES! (sees ball get dropped/go between someones legs/overthown/etc) O_O HOMG! NOOOOOooOOooOOoO!!!!! (juniors tag another runner out) YES! (something else happens) NO!!!!" we did that pretty much every inning.
we like on the ground making spastic laughing sounds and taking deep breaths by the end of the game. xD
CONGRATS C DIV NTSS SOFTBALLERS ON YOUR MATCH TODAY AGAINST GREENDALE!
------ I shouldn't love you but I want you I just can't turn away I shouldn't see you but I can't move I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not 'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go of you But I don't want to I just gotta say it all Before I go Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you There's so much I can't say Do you want me to hide the feelings And look the other way
This emptiness is killing me And I'm wondering why I've waited so long Looking back I realize It was always there just never spoken I'm waiting here...been waiting here
Just so you know This feeling's taking control of me And I can't help it
