i spend my nights either sleepless or dreaming about you

Thursday, May 08, 2008

okay, first things first: i won't be posting here any more... might delete it someday... but any journal posts/updates i make will be on my deviantArt journal, feel free to visit my page : http://www.vampiro-guitarist.deviantart.com/
(link is also under my links here)

okay, next: YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS GUY. he's friggin awesome. he's a choreographer/dancer, 15 years old, i think.

see his other vids too. there's one of when he was 13 years old. and he WAS AWESOME (for that age) lawl.

cheers.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

to the people who would like to see any pictures of the cross country i have taken, i'll post it up on my DEVart page soon. if there are photos you want that aren't posted up, email me, k? ^^

i can walk the whole damn way and STILL get a stupid collarpin. wth. ><

Monday, February 11, 2008

man, i dont know what to say. just... i'm sorry. i really am. i'm sorry...

-------
Will you listen to my story?
It’ll just be a minute,
How can I explain?
Whatever happened,
dear, I never meant to hurt you,
How could I cause you so much pain?

When I say I’m sorry,
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story,
Say you won’t leave me.
When I say I’m sorry,
Can you forgive me?
When I say I will always be there,
Will you believe,
will you believe in me?

All the words that I come up with,
They’re like gasoline on flames.
There’s no excuse,
no explanation
Believe me if I could undo what I did wrong
I’d give away all that I own.

If I told you I’ve been cleanin’ my soul,
And If I promised you I’ll regain control,
Will you open your door,
And let me in take me for who I am,
And not for who I’ve been, who I’ve been?
(Who I've been)

When I say I’m sorry,
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story,
Say you won’t leave me.
When I say I’m sorry,
Can your forgive me?
When I say I will always be there,
Will you believe me?
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry

Can you forgive me?
When I say I will always be there,
Will you believe?

Monday, November 05, 2007

not much to update i guess... i'm addicted to Hinder recently... i wanna buy their cd.i like "here's to the night" by Eve 6... and "here i stand" by Madina Lake.

been really busy, with training, lessons, student leadership stuff, etc. i guess i'm just trying to keep my mind busy so that i dont have much time to be depressed and even consider suicide.

i went to visit my DARLING cheryl at her school last week. didn't do much. next time i'll take you out on a proper date, okay hun? when i have money! xD

go see the songs i've recently put up on my dA account. http://vampiro-guitarist.deviantart.com/
i dont really like them. but lotsa people like them... i probably dont like them because they all remind me of her. sigh. ah well.

bettina, signing out.

---------------------
So denied, so I lied
are you the now or never kind
In a day, and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had
are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line
along with place and time
Wanna stay, not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
------
My hands shake cuz today,
I know you're gonna break my heart and,
My life without you in it
Is a life, it's not worth living.
I'll be strong but i wish i was someone else,
Anyone but me tonight

Here i stand
All alone
Tonight,
And i wish i was strong enough to breathe
Without you
In my life,
I wish i was anyone but me.

So I'll start to pretend im ok
But you should know by now that
My life is smoke and mirrors,
The one thing is crystal clear
That i'm the one wishing i was someone else,
Anyone but me tonight

Inside i start to fall apart.
And i'll pretend im holding on
So i guess ill bleed in silence.
I guess i'll bleed in silence.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

alot has happened since my last post... not gonna bother posting a full update. but gonna try and revive my blog...

exams are over...
i've started hip hop classes with guo yi. (thanks maqrius!)
playing pool alot...
suddenly, i think i've lost interest in softball. (damn, i hate to prove lily ng right. sorry guys.)

i've actually been trying to see which is the best form of suicide...
i've hit a personal rock bottom...
i knew it was coming, yet i kept up the act...
i blame nobody except myself...
actually, i WANT you to blame me...
it's my fault anyways...
-----
how many wrongs make a right?

i chronicled the days you made me want to live
i spend my nights either sleepless or dreaming about you

going on without you still upsets me.
it's hard to deal with the pain of losing you.

i hope you're sleeping better knowing that i never sleep at all.

all i ever wanted comes right down to you.
i see the edge but i can't take the fall.
i don't wanna be like this.
i just want you to know that everything i hold in is everything i can't let go.

i can't believe you were the one to build me up and tear me down.

it's only words and words are all i have to take your breath away.

I'm Sorry, even though sorry is never enough.

Monday, July 02, 2007

I DEMAND YOU PEOPLE PLAY THIS GAME!!! --->http://www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html

very addictive game. bloody frustrating though.

today went bowling with the twins and lilin. played darts too. then the twins and i went to east coast to meet jazzy, weiyun and unice. we made them wait 2 hours for us... (SORRY, JUNIORS!! ><) went roller blading. then everyone went home. ^^

----
I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days

Thursday, June 28, 2007

oh yeah, my parents said that they'll let me go back for service if i can do well for ALL my subjects OVERALL. that means i gotta pass my social studies!!! and i have to wait till rebort book coems out. that'll be in like... LATE OCTOBER OR SOMETHING! @_@ so far away!

---
I was born to tell you I love you

And I'm tired of being all alone

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

i just wanted you to know,
i think about you every night
when i fall asleep
you are in my dreams

oh my god la. today, lilin and i were walking to my place, then we ran into guru at block 412. this old lady slipped and fell on the slippery wet floor. and hit her head.

she was like, bleeding alot. stained her shirt like mad. damn scary, we panicked then lilin called for an ambulance. damn scary, 71-year-old woman slips and falls, and starts bleeding on the back of her head like crazy. O____O

after that whole situation was olved, lilin and i ran to her house to grab her music enrichment course booklet. then ran for the bus to go back to school. then went for the music enrichment course.

then went to watch the juniors' match. they won 24-20 or something like that. siyin and i nearly died of a heart attack. kept screaming: "YES! (sees ball get dropped/go between someones legs/overthown/etc) O_O HOMG! NOOOOOooOOooOOoO!!!!! (juniors tag another runner out) YES! (something else happens) NO!!!!" we did that pretty much every inning.

we like on the ground making spastic laughing sounds and taking deep breaths by the end of the game. xD

CONGRATS C DIV NTSS SOFTBALLERS ON YOUR MATCH TODAY AGAINST GREENDALE!

------
I shouldn't love you
but I want you I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine
when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how
to make a feeling stop

Thought you should know
I've tried my best
to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why
I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it