had training today. started out with simple physical. then did usual feilding and stuff.
i feel like total crap right now; the minute my parents and their friends from out of town left the house to go to the night safari, i sat down at my computer and began sobbing (not tearing, not crying, SOBBING, like on the verge of BAWLING). i couldn't help it, for some reason the only thoughts that ran through my head were the times i spent with mike. i mean, he was always there for me, he was always comforting me, we trusted each other, we were always there for each other.
i just... i really can't believe he's gone... that i'll never see him again. i always feel this overwhelming sense of lonliness without him. ever since he died, i got into bad moods really easily. i always felt like just breaking down to cry. the second i start tearing, i almost always break into crying/sobbing. sometimes i just wish that i would've died instead of him. he deserved to live.
as some of you may notice, this blogskin i'm currently using is basically based on him.
© 2008. "some things cannot be changed... accept your fate" 4:31 AM |